Wednesday 19 April 2017

Bluebell Wood

Totes excite :D okay I am a grown adult let me rephrase that, 'Much delight'. Today I took my first trip in the car by myself as a fully qualified driver. Okay I brought Bobby for moral support so I was the only human in the car.Yes it didn't start perfect as I forgot Bobby's lead so made the grown up decision to stop at the pound shop and pick up one quick then I decided to take off to a local wood that I heard about but never been to and am so glad I did because it was simply beautiful, yet slightly scary, another of my wise ideas, I decided it would be a good idea for me to go alone into a wood in the late evening with a non-aggressive, quite chubby dog who will be no help in defending me from the clowns that live in woods. But behold no clowns but an array (get me being all poetic) of beautiful, yet slightly withered Bluebells. I genuinely thought there was mist on the ground as I came around the corner into the wood until up close I could see it was just thousands and thousands of Bluebells all over the wood ground. I am so gutted I didn't have my camera because it would have been some beautiful sights but I managed to get a few with okayish quality on my phone.












Monday 17 April 2017

I'm a Shadowhunter in my Dreams

Back in the Christmas sales I got the Mortal Instruments book set, yes years later than everyone else but like all those before me I have fallen for the series as bad as Simon fell for Clary (cute but tragic). Demon hunters, werewolf's, vampires, fairy's and so much more, these books take you into a whole new world built by the incredibly talented Cassandra Claire (Judith Rumelt).
A lot of people would be familiar with the film City of Bones but unknown to most, there is actually an online/tv series too and boy did I binge watch all of Season 1 and 2 (the good thing about joining a series late is the fact you don't have to wait for episodes they're all there).
To really sell you guys on this series and really understanding my love for it I'll give you a bit more info on the story (even thought he majority of people probably already know all about it).
Cute, pretty little Clary Fray what could really go wrong with her mundane life in Brooklyn with her best friend Simon, her over-protective mum and her possibly boyfriend Luke. Well it turns out Clary is not a mundane after all and only really learns what a mundane is when she finds out there's a whole other world out there where her and her mum are shadowhunters, people who kill and hunt demons and the then there's the downworlders, vampires (ohhh Raphel), faires, werewolfes (Luke) and more. From then on Clary finds out who she really is and on the way learns a heck of a lot of things.
  Obviously the story lines are amazing but I think its how incredible the actors play the characters that really sells the series for me. Take the majestic Magnus Bane played by Harry Shum Jr. (totally straight and actually married to a woman in real life). Totally convinced that the character we see is extravagantly dressed,  out-goingly gay and produces sparkingly blue magic from his fingertips (okay I'm not selling this series that well but trust me here). You just can't help but feel the realness of the story's behind each character and that is truly what you want from a series isn't it? To not be able to book down a book till its finished or complete a whole season in two days.
Defiantly a series for Vampire Diaries fans or something completely different, give it a go you defiantly won't be disappointed or I shall willingly go before the Silent Brothers for a trail.



Wednesday 12 April 2017

One and only day on a diet

I'm on a total health fix. I'm not happy with my body, I've put on a lot of weight at college this year and can't fit most of the clothes I own (total Regina George "sweatpants are all that fit me right now" moment) and I'm completely unfit (can't climb stairs and speak at the same time). So with that all in mind I'm determined to put my fitness first by cutting out crappy food and spending more time exercising instead of spending time saying I will exercise.
It was all going well and I was actually starting to get a bit of muscle on my legs and then I decided to listen to someone who recommend I start a cleanse/diet by Forever Living called the F15. Now I'm not totally writing this diet off, it may suit some people, I personally think people who are already fit and working out, but it completely didn't work for me, seeing as I only managed one day. I was determined not to give up and I honestly didn't want to but I was physically sick and couldn't stand with dizziness so I had to stop it, but will not stop working on the progress I was making before.
I was always skeptical about diets and really didn't believe in juice ones where you would replace food and proper eating with just a few 'special' drinks a day and so I made sure before agreeing to pay (way tooo much) for this one I found out all I could about it.
So basically with this diet its all about filling you up with natural fiber, getting a antioxidant cleanse from the Gel (which made me sick) and other supplements included. I just found it all way too much to take in one day and then specially designed meals with certain calories only allowed plus exercising, it takes some dedication.
This might sound perfect to some of you but I really struggled with this diet and it has defo thought me to stick to what I know and whats natural instead of 'specially designed diets'.


One of the only thing I did like about this diet was the Ultra Lite powder that you mix with milk giving you basically a yummy milkshake. 
And on the left is what I didn't like 25g of onion, 80g of pasta, 70g of tomatoes.. to be exact. I really don't agree with all this weighing exactly what you need and sticking to it. 

Tuesday 11 April 2017

Flower Braid Hair

I'm all about being unique and unusual if that's what is you and when I got my side shave I finally felt like 'yup this is the real me'. I just love the BoHo look to the side shave and its uniqueness and after starting to grow it out I decided I would let it continue growing for awhile and see what my next hair adventure would be. Now anyone who has had a side shave or undercut knows how crazily annoying and difficult it is to grow out (picture puffy short hair in all directions on just one side of your head).


It has taken months to even be able to have some control over the hair that is growing out and I'm at the stage where I can start to sort it out into something a little less, well, "shit what happened to your head?".

Now I am no hair expert, that is more than safe to say, and have no skill with doing hair at all. But I have always wanted to be able to do little daily styles that are cute and just less, hair-sitting-on-head-looking-like-nothing, ya know? So I sat down and was determined to make my short growing back hair into little plaits kinda like cornrows (but nowhere near as good). I'll be honest, I don't even know how many times I tried this and how long it took me but I am somewhat happy with the result.

Not at all how I was imagining it to look, but hey not to bad right? 
So seeing the result let me start to see it as a Bohemian look and thought "hey haven't I got little hair flower things somewhere?" and behold another step to the amazing hair tutorial... 

Quite alright don't ya think? I was pretty chuffed with how it turned out and thought it was a cute little hairstyle showing my personality (and also hiding the dodgy side shave). 
Now I can tell you this, I am not able to recreate this look, this was a once off on the day I was actually able to make a hairstyle seem a bit more than like a 5 year old did it, but perhaps it might inspire some of the greats out there (let me know if it does because man I gotta see that).


Monday 10 April 2017

Don't let anyone ever tell you you can't do something

Its fair to say the pass few days have been tough, seen clearly in my posts basically where I am complaining constantly. But there has finally being some good news and something to lift me back up the confident ladder.... I passed my driving test. After a disastrous lesson two days before the test, where basically the instructor said I shouldn't be driving and left me crying in the car having a panic attack, I pushed myself and I did it and couldn't be more happy.
The thing I learn't over the past few days, no matter what it is in life you are struggling with, no-one, no-one at all can stop you from doing it, but yourself. It is up to you to push yourself to prove to yourself and anyone who has stood in your way that actually you can do it and can do it with a smile.
Yes I did struggle, but along with the help from my parents, boyfriend and best friends I got back up and I did it and look at me now, a 21 year old who has dyslexia, has been told she's stupid, thick, can't do things, etc, I've gone and pushed myself to getting my driving license while in the middle of studying for my final year of college exams, moving out, getting turned down for jobs and generally having a shitty time.
All I can say to anybody, is life truly is what you make it, its up to you to go out there and grab each adventure by the horns and ride with the flow.


How do mums always know? She had this for me, before I even told her I passed. 

Sunday 9 April 2017

When your down in a rut




No-one is able to get you out of a rut, but yourself. I've been there I've heard the usual "just calm down" "it'll be okay", yes, of course, they are trying to help, it's just not the type of help you need.
I've had a shitty day, we all have them, people treat you shitty, things aren't working out, it's raining when you wanted to go outside, the toilets blocked, whatever it is that sets you off it doesn't matter, what matters is getting back up (not out of the toilet, just to make myself clear). Today was one of the hardest days I've had in a long time, and okay it wasn't over anything major (a driving lesson I had did not go well at all because the instructor was an ass speaking to me really degradingly and really knocking my confidence.. when my test is in two days) but it was extremely hard none the less. I think its because I've let stress over many things, college, exams, the future, all build up over time and today I just couldn't take it anymore.
My point of this post is to say it's okay to not want to do anything, to lay in bed doing absolutely nothing just lying, there that's okay if that's what you need. The thing to not do is let this go on for a long time obviously and lay there overthinking, but once in awhile, we all need that time to just re-energize. I've been there where getting up was no option for me, that was my life, but now I've got to the stage where I can take the time to myself to just breathe and stop whatever is going through my head and I'm able to get back up. Which I did and feel so much better for doing it.
We all know exercise is good for your whole body including producing what I call 'Happy Hormones' and I know it's always said to people who are down 'just get out and exercise' but that is the last thing you want to do and believe me, I being the Queen of lazy am never one for exercise, (My landlady nearly cried when I told her I actually walked into town), but I have to actually agree with the whole thing about it being a great help because since I did start to push myself to exercise I have felt better. Yeah, today I didn't want to leave my bed, and I didn't until 7pm and had convinced myself 'what was the point'. But behold a great miracle happened and I got the motivation to actually go outside for a walk. I'm not just saying it helped, it really did, and that's all you need, to take your little time to yourself recuperate and get back out there and kick butt at being you.




"The sun goes down and it comes back up, the world it turns no matter what, if it all goes wrong, darling just hold on".

Saturday 8 April 2017

When nothing is going right

Anyone who knows me, knows animals are my life and to work with animals is all I want in life. To go further with college, continuing study and qualify as a Veterinary Nurse has been my goal for years and all I have been focusing on. I've come to that stage after two years of PLC courses and many other courses, where its my time to go into IT level and that is all I want to do. I'm a self named book nerd and I genuinely love studying, I'm not ready to give it all up yet I want to learn more. But that's where my problems starts as there's only around 8 places offered in Ireland and their randomly computer picked and England is £9,000 a YEAR for their courses, my chances are low to non-existent.

At the moment I have given up trying to continue into college as it is just impossible. It will always be in the back of my mind to go through with it one day but at the minute I'm focusing on trying to get a career in this area. But then this has been a disaster too as interviews I've had, one including my dream job that I have been volunteering at for three years, have been unsuccessful. One says my experiences and knowledge are amazing and something I should be proud of but not suited for the role and the other says I don't have enough experience to be suited for the role... little help here lads.

I'm feeling a little lost in limbo right now. I have the world before me to do what I want with my life but I'm not able to do the things I really truly want to do. Okay I know everyone says never give up you have to keep trying and you will get there in the end, and I do believe that it does work out in the end, most times even better than expected but I'm an organizer and planner I like to have things ready and know where I'm going and what I'm doing, this being unprepared not knowing what I can do or where I can go its driving me crazy.

I can take off, go travelling, like I have always wanted to, but for that I need money and that requires a job but they want experience and qualifications that I can't get unless I get into college which I can't get into without money and experience... ahhhhh its a crazy never ending circle, how do you manage adult life.

I like to be one of those people spreading positivity, and usually I am, but reading back on this post its not really been all that positive but here's hoping in awhile I get to update you on whats going good.  I guess everybody goes through these stressful times, not knowing if their coming or going and the only thing to do is listen to Dory and "Just Keep Swimming".

Thursday 6 April 2017

BoHo Bedroom Look

With the change of finding myself again I've gone back to my roots and made my bedroom have that earthy, BoHo look which is how I feel most at home with the smell of intense in the air and the dark earthy colors.





What started off the whole BoHo look was finding this gorgeous necklace a friend of mine brought from Kurdistan for me. Now the photo doesn't do justice to the deep dark ruby and colorful jewels but believe me it is stunning and I had the idea to place it over my lampshade to give a statement look to the dark purple of it. I also placed a flower crown I made over it because why not more colors.



Next is my desk which is mainly candles and little sentiments of pictures and quotes I've been given. I added a dark blue shawl with gold stars under neath which really brings it all together. Including dark candles and odd candle holders really gives off the BoHo vibe. 

My favorite part of my room is my little corner shelf that is dedicated to relaxation and calmness. It's where I keep my incense, tarot cards, candles and beautiful mandala pictures my mum made. I got these amazingly cute BoHo candle holders in Penny's a few years ago but they can't actually withstand heat so i don't use them, but they still look so rustic and adding some old flowers that have dried up really makes it all fit together. 




Tuesday 4 April 2017

Getting My Life back on Track

This year (as in college year) has been shit, no sweet talking it here, it was pure shit. I hated the course, hated the people, hated the place and its been really tough (I wanted to drop out countless times) but I am so close to finishing.. two days left off class then exams and finished :D :D

I'm putting this year behind me, no more complaining about how crap it was I'm focusing on the future and what I CAN do. I've recently had two job interviews, I've got my driving test coming up and for once I'm completely free to make MY decisions as to what I want do next.
Okay continuing college and becoming a qualified Veterinary Nurse is my dream but its just not possible at the minute (I will never say never) with only 8 places being offered in Ireland and it costing £9,000 a year in England.

But there is other options and I'm focusing on them and have actually spent the whole of today searching my options and just feeling really motivated (as you can tell from my first blog post in months, opps).
My boyfriend and I have plans of going travelling that is 100% guaranteed because I have made myself stop putting things off for 'another day', the day is now and I will travel now no more putting it off until something else comes up to put it off.

I AM getting fit, I know people say that all the time and I'm one of them but I've had enough of being disappointed with my body weight and dreaming of being fit and able to workout. I'm pushing myself each day to work out and have decided to go back to dancing, something I loved as a kid and really had a passion for, its time to get that back and my happiness back.

I'm having a total clear-out of all my junk because its all so unnecessary, I feel more comfortable being a hermit with a few special items and being able to travel without ties.

I'm reconnecting with my friends. I'm first to admit I haven't been the best friend this year, I've barely been around but getting a call from one of my besties yesterday telling me I am going to become an auntie has really pushed me to get back in touch with their lives and be a part of it all.

I'm going to make an effort to look better and none of this old clothes and my boyfriends tops, I've actually got some quite nice bits I didn't even remember I had until a tidy up and I could actually style myself nice like all the people I see and say 'I wish I could look like that'.... time to start looking like that.

Then there's little things I've started and always say 'oh one day' like making a handmade quilt and even a jigsaw I started years ago (seriously like 6 or 7 years ago), again its time to do them now.

It just really is time to get myself back and bring my happiness back, to be who I really am.